Journal Entry Date: 01/10/2025

              For the longest time I was Krupa/Vince. The #1 loser with a heart of gold. This was my school age identity that carried over to adulthood along with my childhood friends. This identity came with a lack of self-esteem because I viewed myself as a loser. I willingly accepted that label my interest, hobbies, and lack of ambition. This identity really began to struggle once I graduated from UCR and started working for Dan Shay. It was at this time I learned what it meant to be “successful” along with the mentality and work ethic it took to be “successful”. This was where I began to compare myself to others. I began to compare my family’s lifestyle to the lifestyles of the older men above me and fell into the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” trap. It caused me to look down on my parents. Krupa/Vince grew to be very negative. He values “success” and the “hard working wealthy”. He would have cast his family aside to gain the life he desired. He would have given in to the honey pot but would not have been happy nor content.

              This is where Vinny comes in. This is where he stepped up. Vinny values his family because Vinny is my family identity. Vinny is who those who know me best know me as. It is Vinny who stepped into my own self. It is Vinny who is self-confident. Vinny loves my hobbies. Vinny is the one building my own social circles. It is Vinny who is creating my own relationships.  It is Vinny who values my strengths and knows I am loved. Vinny is a dreamer, an imaginer, and recognizes these as strengths. Most of all Vinny loves myself and is not afraid to be myself. Vinny is my authentic self. Vinny admits when he is wrong. Vinny can talk about difficult things like my mental health and living with schizophrenia. Vinny is not afraid to be vulnerable. I am my best self when I am Vinny because Vinny loves. Vinny wants to include others. Vinny knows it is better to help others learn than to criticize. Last but not least Vinny knows I am worthy.